Frank was conceived thirty years ago in a little village in south Kerry when his parents were carried away in the excitement that followed Johnny Logan’s Eurovision victory in The Hague with What’s Another Year?
Frank did not walk until the age of three; however upon seeing a 15 year old Carola perform Framling at the 1983 Song Contest he miraculously got up and danced and sang along in perfect Swedish for the three minute duration of the song. It is said that this is Carola’s first confirmed miracle. First of many of course.
Frank has had a strong affiliation with the Eurovision Song Contest since these early days and the highlight would have been a live performance on stage in Kviv 2005 as a backing dancer for Donna and Joe. Fierce artistic differences between Donna McCaul and Frank hampered the project from the outset and days before the delegation were due to fly out to the Ukrainian capital, Frank was dropped from the ensemble. He fell into a deep depression, and with no job, the loss of many friends and development of a curious vocal tic that saw him inexplicably shout “Love. Question Mark?” at random intervals it seemed Frank was destined for a life on the streets until once again, the Blessed Virgin Carola rescued him. Ever since she just about managed the key change in I Evighet with her dodgy throat at Melodifestivalen 2006 Frank has been back to his old, successful self.
Frank’s biggest regret in life is not flying to Sweden in 2009 to vote en masse for Agnes to win Melodifestivalen that year. His favourite colour is silver. His favourite country is Iceland. If he could change one rule in the Eurovision Song Contest he would make the StormWindMachine obligatory for all contestants.
Late on Christmas, several years ago the wilderness called Den Vilda (or in our language North Cork) Inget Konstigt Alls, on a snow filled mountain, the stork was passing drunkenly by on his way to Sweden when a freakishly powerful Stormvind blew him off course and he accidentally dropped baby Sven onto the little hamlet of Millstreet, Inget Konstigt Alls. Mck, as his new parents called him, grew up like any normal child did; he played football, ate tacos, und pizza and called girls names and did things normal children do, Inget Konstigt Alls.
Then on an ordinary Saturday afternoon in 1993 a small event was staged in his home town of Millstreet, Inget Konstigt Alls. This tripped a switch, within little Mick’s mind and it wasn’t long before changes were noticed at home. He started spending a lot of time locked in his room and loud wailing was heard occasionally. Requests for fabulous things and ribbons were the new thing. Poor Micks’ parents didn’t know what to do, they had only heard of this type of behaviour in legends. Little did they realise that their son had become infected with Eurovisionitis a rare and incurable disease that Mick, now known as StylingOchConsulting still struggles to overcome these days. A rehab period of 3 years was imposed from 2000 to 2002 in what is now known as the bad years, Inget Konstigt Alls, but on hearing Give Me Your Love on the background TV at a house party in May 2003, Mick cast off his fake identity and became one with his true self, Inget Konstigt Als.
The Voice is the hitherto little heard from McCaul sibling. He can be found performing karaoke with his more famous brother and sister any Friday evening in Dublin’s notorious homosexual haunt “The George.” His hobbies include protesting public sector pay deals and watching old RTÉ hosted Eurovisions on VHS.
Invincible is the Founding Father of the First Holy Presbyterian Church of Carola. He celebrates a weekly Saturday night service in Cork city which is attended by many homosexuals wishing to become heterosexual through the power of Carola’s music.
Stephen aka Candlemansa has been a Euroqueen since 1993 when he saw Niamh Kavanagh light up the stage and realised red heads could be cool. Since then he has tried to emulate her in lots of ways without the dodgy sequins. While disowning the Eurovision in what he calls the waste years, 1999-2002, he rediscovered his beating heart on the 2003 stage with Lou’s ‘Lets get happy’ for Germany and hasn’t looked back. Embracing his euro-pride he continues to travel around Ireland to those dodgy villages we don’t speak of (hmm, where did Frank say he was from) trying to convert the locals to the universe that is ‘Eurovision’. Only a few minor bruises have been gathered along the way. His biggest dream is to eventually make it to the Eurovision and take part in all the camp fun or write the winning song for Ireland.
Spiller is in the Guinness Book of Records holding the World Record for most postings to a personal blog in one day (1,243,672). He’s also a bit of a politics nerd and has written a complex mathematical formula for predicting the average points Cyprus awards Greece in the Eurovision Song Contest (5+0.75+32-[6/8]-1)/(3). He has a strong affinity for all things German. The former Irish Taoiseach and leader of the Fianna Fáil party Albert Reynolds is his personal hero.