Ask Aunty Sheila

Hi Eurovision freaks and geeks………………..It’s me your favourite Eurowhore here……..Aunty Sheila…….I have had loads of jobs in my time but agony aunt for Eurovision has to be my favourite……!!!!!!!!!!!

Any queries , concerns ,worries or criticism are welcome and hopefully I can put your minds to rest over all kinds of everything !!!

There is no clear winner this year and I can’t make up my mind. Please help as it is all terribly confusing, how do I choose my song? Is there anyone I avoid like the pox?

Oh dear , I feel your pain………….I felt the very same while all the National finals were going on. There I was on any given night , internet ready , me poised to get an Ani Lorak,Carola,Charlotte or Urban Symphony esque performance to follow and cheer and learn for my next performance . Alas how disappointed was I ???

But all was not lost after a few weeks and listening to all the entries I eventually came up with quite a few hotties to follow.

Azerbaijan and Drip Drop this year is quite commercial and very easy on the ear.

For a bit of a boogie with the glow sticks everybodies favourite Hera from Iceland would have you bopping in the aisles.

For a throw back to the eighties and for the fact that they love their Eurovison so much you could do a lot worse then Cheer on Denmark’s “In a moment like this !”

For an ethnic /bastardised euro tune…..Opa from Greece will keep you happy or if you have soft spot for the easy listening latch onto Jonny from Cyprus or even Tom Dice with his guitar !!!!

And if your still at a loss do the patriotic thing and support our own red haired Diva chanteuse….Niamh Kavanagh.

This is our BEST entry for years and provided the “drag queen” rig out is dumped for the semi final, I fully expect to see us sailing into Saturdays final with a strong top 5 finish and if the gods (and the juries) are smiling on us a possible surprise win !!!!

So do your patriotic duty and dust off that tricolour flag you have been hiding since Italia ’90 and be out and proud for our girl.!

Remember YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU !!!!

As for to avoid like the pox…………..Russia , The UK and Slovenia

…………Nuff said…..  UTTER SHITE

Could Ireland ever have a Melodifestivalen event or are we just not fabulous enough for it?

Speak for yourself sweetie !!!!!!!!!OF course we could have a Melodifestivalen event.I mean we have the ever fabulous All Ireland Talent Show don’t we ?

(insert expletives  here)

Picture the venues Thomond Park, The 02 , The New Aviva Stadium , The Green Glens in Millstreet , The INEC in Killarney

Picture the presenters Yours truly of course……….who else would you be thinking of?

Picture the interval acts….Veda Beaux Reeves , Ms Panti , Riverdance (AGAIN) Crystal Swing ,

Picture the acts maybe doing various styles on a particular night.

Traditional Music 1 night (possibly in Killarney this would work best)

Rock another

Cheese/Europop in the 02 of course

Dance for all the pill monsters

Ballads of course in the Green Glen

One winner every night then 2 wildcards and what a fabulous final we could have in Croker !!!!!

(me presenting of course)

In order to do this  we will need to change broadcasters ……….TG4 do a lovely Glas Vegas programme ..guffawwwwwwww.

In a nutshell YES we are fabulous enough………….Believe it !!!!!!!!

How gay is too gay for Eurovision ?

Gay and Eurovision go together hand in hand .Through the years we have had the gayers ( too man to mention here)

The lessers (Serbia 2007)

drag queens like D.Q. and Angelica Agurbash ,

a fabulous transsexual Dana……sorry Dana International

Queer air crew a la Scooch and Sestre ,

the unsure like Sakis (tee hee)

note to Sakis BODY POPPING IS UNCOOL ONCE YOU ARE OVER 18 and ………….male

and even Deen “In the disco” from Bosnia Herzegovina

but nothing has or ever will compare to

HUNGARY 2009 Zoli Adak and “Dance with me”

Jesus that boy even made me in the frock the heels the bra the tights the fake lashes and the giant pus of make up look butch……I mean the second skin pink vest top and the green flares………PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSEEEE

Yes I do fear that Zoli was indeed TOO gay for Eurovision.

(even gayer then Sylvia Nightt !!!!!)

If you have any problems or have any questions that Aunty can help with then please submit them to here