Ask Aunty Sheila!

Aunty is back Darlings! She got stuck in Iceland for the last week and you’ll all be glad to know that all charges have now been dropped. Any rumours of volcanic eruptions and her coincidental visit have now been quashed…

If you have any problems or have any questions that Aunty can help with then please submit them here.

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Peter from Cork asks:

“I often find the dancers to be the main attraction at Eurovision; I’m thinking of last year’s centurions for Ukraine. Why do i seem to focus on the gyrating men in the background and not the person singing their hearts out?”
Peter my dear I ask what is the problem with this ?

To answer your question I will take a two pronged answer.

1

Yes the “Anti Crisis Girl” was nothing short of a prozzy onstage….but the men more then made up for her performance.YUMMY…and what about helena’s greek lads a few years back pppphhhhooooaaaarrrr !!!!!

of course its not always the case.

Remember Kenan Dougulu from turkey …that cheeky little scamp could “shake it up shikarem” me any time….never once looked at the dancers….and I know you may find this strange but lead singer with Greenjolly from the Ukraine in 2005 was a bit of a meat head but he deffo turned my head that year and I didn’t even notice the “cute” jailbait hip hop dancers onstage with him. Of course who can forget sakis…..and shake shake shake…….again I didn’t even see the 2 bit hookers stripping him on stage….and who can forget Mr Unibrow Alexander from last year…..I never thought I would find unibrows and a fiddle attractive…….but my that lad could work it…….again the 2 blonde barefoot backers in pink didn’t even register in my brain……apart from their fabulous hair of course and the “tra la’s”……lol.

If of course both the singer and the dancers are woeful you are in trouble….

Who said “Dervish”

2

Some of the singing is crap and the dancers are the only thing going for the performance………………Angelica Agurbash / Sibel Tuzun anyone !!!

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Stephen from Cork:

“Why do I always end up knowing the words to all the Eurovision Songs every year?”

Hi Stephen…………Your like me…………I even know the words of all the “foreign” language song which is great fun to listen to.

You should hear my version of “Molitva” its flawless.

Now to answer your question again , there are two possible answers.

A good eurovision song especially the chorus should be remembered after 1 listen.

Some are so easy 5 year olds in primary school would remember em…..i.e.”Dinga ding dong”………”La La la”………”Love” !!!”and the song that every 5 year old child in primary school should be singing….”Diva” .

Then we move on to the song titles generally always repeated repeated and repeated they are made that way to stick in your brain….

”Im in love with a fairytale”…….

“Rock and roll angels bring thine hard rock hallelujah”

“You are the one you’re my number 1”

”Every way that I can.”
Bet you know all those ones don’t you ?

Yes indeed a good eurovision song is made to stick in your brain.

If its brutal it wont stick in your brain.

For example I bet you don’t know the words to “Tyolki ellaa” from Finland this year…

One reason …………its shite !!!!!!

And answer number 2 to your question……………………………………………….

Your queer dear !!!!!!!!

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Michael from Dublin:
“Sheila I’m torn between going to Oslo and staying at home and getting drunk on vodka, any advice?”

Oh darling Michael (I love that name Michael), why not have the best of both worlds….Go to Oslo and get drunk on vodka there!!

To anyone who hasn’t made a eurovison song contest before…if you have to sell your mother and father to go DO IT.

It is the most fun you will ever have with your clothes on ….

And with the amount of Mary’s that go to it you will of course get a chance to get your clothes off as well.

I realise Oslo is scandalously expensive but as I said it would be well worth your while…even if you cant get a ticket for the show itself.

Somewhere like Oslo will be Eurovision-mad and craic will be had everywhere in the city.

If all else fails and you are stuck here in Ireland – unfortunately the vast majority of Irish people don’t “get” the eurovision – so a night out to see the competition can sometimes be a bit of a let down …fabulous glamour on one screen and ‘Prime Time’ on the other….disgraceful…….

So my advice would be get to the offie , have the dinner at half five , so you have a free run of the evening, invite all the euro geeks/nerds (and me) , get sloshed and enjoy the best night of the year.

Note to self …..check ebay and see how the bids are going for Mam and Dad.

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If you have any problems or have any questions that Aunty can help with then please submit them here.